Meeting 2nd Cousins

Drew, Annelise, and I drove up to Milwaukee today to see his cousin's daughter, Sydney, get baptized. I met Kristen last year when she was here for Wesley's first birthday party.  It was so great to see her and Maddie again, and to meet Rob and Sydney.

They also welcomed little Sawyer into the family just 10 days ago!

So many babies on that side of the family lately!!

Annelise did not do so well in church.  We may be waiting for a little while before trying that adventure again.

GMG Week 11 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:

Proverbs 31 : 28 - Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
Proverbs 22 : 6 - Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Titus 2 : 4 - Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children.
Proverbs 31 : 29 - "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all"

This week sort of made me a little sad.  I know that my husband appreciates all that I do, but he rarely praises me for it.  And, if we're being honest, I know that I don't praise him enough for what he does.  He knows that I am grateful to him for going to work, but I know that I don't vocalize it enough.  I'm going to work harder on vocalizing my thanks and praising him for what he does.  All too often people get lost in criticizing, especially when it comes to parenting.  I'm home with Annelise all day, so I've learned what she likes and dislikes.  I just assume that Drew watches me enough to see it; I forget that I have to teach him sometimes.  Now, whether he listens or not is a completely different story.  I am very conscious about praising him when he does something well with Annelise, and I know that that helps his self-esteem.  He doesn't spend a lot of time with her and she is still a little leery of him at times.  I'm very quick to praise him when he is able to calm her down.  I just need to remember to praise him for other things too!

GMG Week 10 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:

Proverbs 31 : 27 - She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 13 : 1 - A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not respond to rebukes.
Proverbs 9 : 1-2 - Wisdom has built her house; she has set up its seven pillars.  She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table.
Proverbs 6 : 6-11 - Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!  It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.  How long will you lie there, you sluggard?  When will you get up from your sleep?  A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest -- and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.
Proverbs 24 : 3-4 - By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Proverbs 12 : 24 - Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor.
Proverbs 19 : 15 - Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry.
Proverbs 20 : 4 - Sluggards do not plow in season; so at harvest time they look but find nothing.

Frankly, I'm struggling with being a Proverbs 31 woman.  I'm trying, I really am.  But I feel like I'm failing in every aspect of it.  I know that it's not realistic to expect to become her overnight, and I wasn't looking to accomplish that.  It was more something to strive towards becoming.  Honestly, I feel further away from being a Proverbs 31 woman than when I started.  I will continue to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

Baby Giggles

Is there anything better than baby giggles?  I don't think so.  After her bath the other night, Annelise was giggling up a storm.  She was so cranky before her bath from lack of naps, that I think that she was just slaphappy at this point.  Nothing melts my heart more than that little girl smiling and laughing at me.

I dare you to watch this and not smile at least once!



Adorable, right?

Zoo and a Stroll

Today, we went to Summerfield Zoo, a small zoo in Belvidere.  There is a variety of animals - wolves, monkeys, horses, turtles, mountain lion, camel, zebra, and some small animals.  Nothing extravagant, but still fun nonetheless.

After the zoo, Drew and I came back home and Annelise was able to do something else for the first time.

She rode in the seat part of the stroller!!  Up until now, she's always sat in her carseat that attaches to the stroller.  She has amazing head control, and since the stroller has a 5 point harness, I figured that she would enjoy being able to sit up and see things.

I just ordered the tray table that goes on the front of the stroller.  I kept saying that I felt like it was so open and she was so unprotected with her sitting like that.

GMG Week 9 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:
Proverbs 31 : 26 - She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
Proverbs 10 : 11 - The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
Proverbs 12 : 18 - The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Ephesians 4 : 29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
1 Timothy 3 : 11 - In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
Proverbs 15 : 1 - A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Luke 6 : 45 - A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
Proverbs 4 : 23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 10 : 19 - Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.
Proverbs 10 : 31 - From the mouth of the righteous comes the fruit of wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be silenced.
Proverbs 4 : 24 - Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

Boy oh boy, did I need these passages this week.  I have been an awful person, and I have been completely trash talking someone to a bunch of different people.  I need to stop.  Seriously, I need to stop.  It is so unladylike for me to gossip and bash this person the way that I have.  Just because I may think or feel a certain way, does not mean that I need to vocalize that to another person.

I'll Never Forget

I just got home from dropping some lunch off for Drew and I saw the most blood-boiling thing on my way home.  I was stopped at a red light and a small red car pulled up next to me.  I heard a lot of noise coming from it, so I looked over.  In the car was a woman driving, a young boy sitting in the front seat, and four small children in the back seat.  The youngest was maybe three.

So, what's the big deal, you ask?  The youngest child, the maybe three year old, WAS NOT BUCKLED AT ALL!!!  No seat belt, and certainly no car seat.  Honestly, I really have no clue if any of the children in the backseat were bucked at all, but I'm fairly certain that at least two of them should have been in some sort of car seat.  The youngest caught my eye because she was crawling all around the backseat and trying to get into the front.

I try really, really hard not to judge parents, because everybody parents different.  But y'all, when I see a parent doing something that really shows that they don't give a rat's ass about the safety of their children, I judge.  And I judge hard.  It really took every ounce of strength in my body to not roll down my window even further and yell at that woman.

Seeing things like that, people who don't care enough about their children to provide them with a safe environment, is why I get so angry that I, and many other women, go through infertility.  I get so angry with myself, those careless people, and God that I had to spend thousands and thousands of dollars to get a child that I yearned to badly for, while those people reproduce like it's nothing.  While I'm sure they love their children, they don't understand the devastation of going through treatment after treatment and wondering if they will ever get to bring home a baby.  They don't understand the devastation of losing a baby.  They don't understand that I would do anything, ANYTHING, to provide my child the best and safest environment possible.

I'm one of the women who know how fragile how life is.  I'm one of the women who know what a miracle a child is.  I may have my take home baby, but I will never forget the sting of infertility.  I'll never forget the fight that I went through to have my baby.

What A Difference A Year Makes

One year ago today, Drew and I drove back to the clinic in Chicago to do a frozen embryo transfer.  We were both still emotionally beat up from the miscarriage, but we knew that we couldn't sit and dwell on what we had lost.  Specifically, I couldn't sit and dwell on the loss.  I was so sick and tired of playing the infertility game and letting endometriosis ruin my life.

One year ago today, we took a leap of faith and tried to get our take home baby.  A child that we longed for more than anything.

A year ago, we put our faith and trust in God.

What a difference a year makes!

Rollin'

Well folks, we've reached our first BIG milestone!  Annelise rolled over, belly to back, for the first time yesterday!!  She has been ::thisclose:: to rolling for about two weeks now and every time I put her down for tummy time, I wondered if that day would be the day.  Yesterday, that day finally came.

I wasn't expecting it to happen as quickly as it did, so, of course, I was caught off guard and without the camera.  As soon as she rolled over, I started clapping and yelling because I was so excited.  I think I scared the poor girl with how excited I was.  Then, I picked her up and hugged her tight, and started bawling!  My little baby is quickly becoming not so little anymore!  A little while later, I laid her on her tummy again, and she rolled again, this time to the right.  When Drew came home, I put her on her tummy again and she rolled to the right again.  I tried to capture it on video, and failed.

Today, I was determined to catch it on video.  A milestone like this just can't go unrecorded!  (Note: The roll happens in the first few seconds, and then I make a fool out of myself for the rest of the video.  Feel free to NOT watch it after the roll!  Haha!)

GMG Week 8 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:
Proverbs 31 : 23 - Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
Proverbs 12 : 4 - A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Proverbs 31 : 24 - She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
Proverbs 10 : 4 - Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.
Proverbs 31 : 25 - She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
Proverbs 3 : 26 - for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.
Psalm 23 : 1 - The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.
Psalm 37 : 3 - Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Proverbs 3 : 5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
Philippians 4 : 19 - And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

The passage that stood out the most to me this week, is to bring my husband respect.  He should be proud to be able to call me his wife and not worry that my attitude or behaviors could disgrace him.  I should never embarrass him with the things that I say or do.

First 4th

As with most new parents, I get extremely excited to celebrate the holidays that are Annelise's firsts.  I bought her a 4th of July outfit quite a few weeks ago, and I was more than ready for her to wear it.

She was very obviously sort of "meh" about it!!  Ha!!!  I just love that expression.

I knew the outfit was beyond cute, but when I plunked that bow on her head, I shrieked and did a happy dance.  I mean, seriously.  Can you get any cuter than that??

Drew's work was having a potluck today, which he didn't tell me about until late last night.  So, I baked up a pan of brownies this morning and we brought them to him at work.  All the ladies that were there were very excited to finally meet Annelise.  And I could tell that Drew was totally excited to show her off.

We went over to Drew's parent's house after he got off of work and had dinner with them and his grandma.  We watched New York City's fireworks on TV.  I definitely have to add going to see those in person to my bucket list.  They were spectacular!!

Rockford still had their firework show, but all the others were cancelled due to the heat and how dry it is here.  It has been just stupid hot.  We decided not to go watch the fireworks because of Drew's work schedule, so hopefully we can take Annelise next year.

Three Months

Dear Annelise,

Three months, my darling, three months have past since you have been born and you continually bring me so much joy.  I can't believe how interactive you have become this month.  You have turned into such a chatty kathy.  You are almost always babbling or cooing, and your newest favorite discovery is gargling.  You have even started to shriek a little bit.  Heaven help us when you discover the ability to scream.  I know that it's not too far away.

You got to meet your Uncle Eric, Aunt Jessica, and cousin Wesley this month.  They were so excited to meet you, and you loved to hang out with them.  We spent the week that they were here going to different fun places around town.  We all can't wait until next year, when you are one, to take you back to some of the places.

Daddy and I took you to a Joe Nichols (country) concert at Old Settler's Days.  It was a little bit loud for you, but you loved to look at the stage and watch the lights.  I catch you watching tv a lot and I think that you like all of the light and colors.

My favorite thing that you have done this past month is laugh!  Such a beautiful sound to my ears!!  It's more of a giggle and it's very short, but I will constantly make a fool out of myself to try and get you to giggle.  I can't get enough of it.  It's amazing how that one little thing can melt my heart so much!

I usually find you like this, with your pointer finger shoved into the side of your mouth.  I keep telling you that I'm going to look at you one day and see that you've chomped a finger off with how much you chew on them.  You've also managed to finally figure out how to suck your thumb.  For the longest time you tried, but you couldn't figure out how to pull your thumb away from your fist.  You got it one night while Daddy was trying to rock you to sleep.  You usually have your right hand in your mouth, so I'm wondering if you are going to be right handed.

Daddy has found that he can hold you in his arm and sing to you and you fall asleep pretty quickly.  He only sings one song to you, but you love it.  And it melts my heart to hear him sing to you.

I really haven't had to worry about supporting your head at all.  I can set you on my hip and hold you there as long as I support your back and you are happy as a clam.  You love to be able to sit up and look around.  You are a very observant baby.  You continue to love sitting in your Bumbo seat.  You also continue to like to stand up on your feet.

You still are not a fan of tummy time.  In fact, most days, you tolerate it for even less time than you used to.  You just do not like not being able to see much.  You try to roll, and you can scoot some, but that's not good enough for you.

Sometimes, if you are being fed from a bottle, you'll hold it for a few seconds.  You put your hands up around it, but I'm not sure if you are just trying to get them closer to your mouth, or if you really understand how to hold your bottle.

I almost don't even want to talk about your sleep because I don't want to jinx it.  You've been giving me pretty long stretches at night, and even slept eight hours one night!  I know not to celebrate too much because you still have a lot of growth spurts to go through.

I love you so much, little lady!

Love you forever,
Mommy

GMG Week 7 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:
Proverbs 31 : 21 - When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
Proverbs 27 : 23 - Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds.
Psalm 46 : 1-2 - God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
Proverbs 31 : 22 - She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
1 Timothy 2 : 9-10 - I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
1 Peter 3 : 3-4 - Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

The passages this week are telling me to put my family first and make sure that they are prepared for the changing seasons, or anything else that may arise in their lives.  It is also important to be a beautiful person on the inside.  God would rather us have inner beauty than flaunt outer beauty.

GMG Week 6 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:
Proverbs 31 : 19 - In her hands she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
Colossians 3 : 23 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
Ephesians 6 : 7 - Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people.
Proverbs 31 : 20 - She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
Deuteronomy 15 : 7-8 - If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them.  Rather, be openhanded and freely lend them whatever they need.
Proverbs 11 : 25 - A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.
1 Thessalonians 4 : 11 - and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,
Proverbs 19 : 17 - Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done.

The message that spoke to me this week, is to lead a quiet life of ambition, minding my own business.  Too often we muddle in other people's lives.  My goal is to work on leading a more quiet life.

Beach Day

My sister came over yesterday to stay the night, and us girls went to Pearl Lake.  Annelise loves being outdoors, so I figured that she would really enjoy a little trip to the beach.  I knew that there were some trees that would provide some shade for us.  Unfortunately, I think that it was just a little too warm for Annelise and she was a little bit crabby.  Either that or she was tired.  In any event, I managed to rock her to sleep and she took a decent nap sprawled out on a blanket in the sand.

We stayed until she woke up, which was after about an hour or so.  I told Rachel that we'll have to go back when it's a little cooler so that she can enjoy it more.  I look forward to taking her to the beach next year!

GMG Week 5 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:
Proverbs 31 : 17 - She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
Nehemiah 8 : 10 - Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared.  This day is holy to our Lord.  Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
Ecclesiastes 9 : 10 - Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
Psalm 118 : 24 - The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.
Philippians 4 : 13 - I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Proverbs 31 : 18 - She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
Proverbs 14 : 23 - All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
1 Thessalonians 4 : 11 - and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.  You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,

This week, the scripture passages spoke to me about working vigorously on my tasks.  I need to put my whole effort into things and not do them half way.  All work is for the Lord, whether it's enjoyable or not.

Saying Hello

GMG Week 4 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:

Proverbs 31 : 15 - She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.

Psalm 5 : 3 - In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

Mark 1 : 35 - Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Proverbs 31 : 16 - She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

Proverbs 16 : 3 - Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

Proverbs 21 : 5 - The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.

James 4 : 13-15 - Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money."  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

This week I worked on rising earlier in the morning.  It was easy for me since I had such a busy week spending time with family.  I will have to keep it up and work on continuing to rise early.

Busy Busy Bees

Annelise and I have had such a busy week.  Eric, Jessica, and Wesley came into town last Saturday, and after my cousin's graduation party, we headed over to Drew's parent's house so that Annelise could meet them.

Eric had to work during the week, so Jessica planned lots of fun outings for Wesley so that he would be out of the house.  On Monday, we went to Discovery Center.  I was so surprised at how much fun Wes had.  I figured that he would play in each area for a few minutes and then move on.  Amazingly, he spent hours playing!

Annelise slept the whole entire time!  She sure does love her Auntie Jess though.

On Tuesday, Drew and his dad took Wesley out on the boat.  Annelise is still too little, so we just walked around the park.

On Wednesday, Drew's parents babysat Annelise and Drew and I went out on a date night with Jess and Eric.  We went to Lucerne's, which is a fondue restaurant, and then played mini putt and laser tag.  We had such a great time.  Annelise apparently had a great time with her grandparents too!

On Thursday, we went to Midway Village.  I have been there for a reception, but I've never been through the museum.  Did you know that Rockford is home to the sock monkey?  Yeah, neither did I.

Annelise very obviously had a rough day because she passed out that night in Drew's arms.

Gosh, I just love that little girl so darn much!

Yesterday, we celebrated Wesley's birthday and had a small party for him.  Annelise wore a dress first time.  So cute!

We took a much needed break, and just hung out at home today.  It was so nice for me to be able to get out of the house and do stuff during the day though.  I loved being able to spend so much time with Jessica.  I know that I've said it before, but I really hate that she lives so far away.

GMG Week 3 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:
Proverbs 31 : 12 - She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
1 Kings 11 : 4 - As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
Proverbs 31 : 13 - She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
Colossians 3 : 23 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
Proverbs 31 : 14 - She is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar.
Proverbs 9 : 1-2 - Wisdom has built her house; she has set up its seven pillars.  She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; She has also set her table.
Genesis 24 : 15-20 - Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder.  She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor.  The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her.  She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.  The servant hurried to meet her and said, "Please give me a little water from your jar."  "Drink, my lord," she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.  After she had given him a drink, she said, "I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink."  So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels.

The important lesson that stuck out to me this week is to work with eager hands.  I have a tendency to put off the less enjoyable chores and grumble my way through them.  I need to work for the Lord eagerly and praise that fact that I am able to do such chores.

Two Months

Dear Annelise,

Another month of my life has flown by and you are now two months old.  I know that I said it last month, but now I really can't remember what life was like before you were here.  It seems like you've always been apart of me.  You have absolutely exploded in your interaction this month.  I can almost always make you give me a huge, gummy smile.  And your smiles?  They just melt my heart.  All of the challenges that you give me are completely washed away when I look at your smiling face.  I've also learned little things that I can do that will always guarantee a smile.  My favorite time to make you smile is when I've put you on the changing table.  It's always fun to play with you then.

Dad gave you a bottle for the first time right after you turned one month old.  You were a little unsure about it at first, but once you realized that you could get milk from it, you didn't seem to mind the bottle at all.  You definitely still prefer to nurse though, and that's okay with me.  Other people have really enjoyed being able to feed you too.  I like that other people, especially Dad, can bond with you while feeding you.  Recently, you've started putting your hands on the bottle like you understand how to hold it.

I celebrated my first Mother's Day with you this month.  You have no idea how happy that you make me and how honored I am to be your mom.  It makes me feel so good when people dote on you.

You have really started cooing and "talking" to us this month.  I will mimic the sounds that you make and we'll have "conversations".  We do this a lot when you're on the changing table.  I keep waiting for a laugh, but I know that will probably be another month or two.

We have been taking you to the chiropractor to get adjusted.  Some days you really enjoy it, and some days you don't like it all.  I can't decide if it's helping you or not.

You continue to amaze me with your head control.  You love to be held upright on my shoulder and look around and I barely have to hold your head.  You don't like tummy time very much, but will tolerate it for a few minutes.  We're really going to have to work on getting you to like it better because you have to learn the skills that are required, like rolling over and crawling.  You really like to stand up on your feet while I hold your body.  Sometimes I'll hold you up by your hands, but you usually just try to shove my fingers in your mouth.

Speaking of that, you really like to bite on my finger.  You even make a little mean face when you bite down.  Sometimes you get so into it that you shove my finger too far into your mouth and you gag.  You also drool a lot.  I was convinced that you were in the beginning stages of teething, but your doctor quickly put me in my place with that and said that it was way too soon.  Honestly?  I was glad to hear that.  I don't want you sprouting teeth yet!

At your two month doctor's appointment, you weighed 11 pounds 2 ounces and was 21 1/2 inches long.  You received three shots and an oral vaccine.  You didn't mind the oral one too much.  The shots were a different story.  You were already fussing when I laid you down, and you really screamed when the nurse gave you the shots.  Thankfully, she did them really quick and it was over before I knew it.  It broke my heart to see the tears in your eyes.  I hate to see you hurting.  I scooped you up to comfort you and you calmed right down, but you were pretty out of it for the rest of the day.

You love to challenge me with your sleep.  Some days you go right to sleep without any problems, but other days, you fight going to sleep so hard.  It really breaks my heart.  I really hope that you get better, but I know that we'll always have our challenges.  We're going to start working on transitioning you to sleeping in your crib during nap time.  I'm already not looking forward to it!

My girl, you are such a joy to me.  It makes me so happy to watch you grow and learn new things every day.  I can't wait to see what this next month is going to bring us!

Love you forever,
Mommy

GMG Week 2 Recap

Scripture passages for the week:
Proverbs 31 : 10 - A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.
Proverbs 12 : 4 - A wife of noble character is her husbands crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Proverbs 18 : 22 - He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 19 : 14 - Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Proverbs 31 : 11 - Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
Proverbs 11 : 28 - Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.
Proverbs 28 : 26 - Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.
Proverbs 16 : 20 - Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord.
Proverbs 28 : 25 - The greedy stir up conflict, but whose who trust in the Lord will prosper.
Proverbs 29 : 25 - Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

I felt like the Lord was really trying to teach me to trust in Him this week.  I've had a challenging week at home, and I need to learn how to turn towards God when I get frustrated.  As a Proverbs 31 woman, my husband should be able to trust me to maintain our household when he can't, and he should be able to trust me to maintain it with a calm and level-head.  Drew should be able to trust me to make the best decisions for our family.  I also need to exhibit noble qualities as a Proverbs 31 woman.

Annelise's Birth Story

I had a doctor’s appointment on Thursday, March 29th.  We had already discussed doing an induction that evening.  Dr. Manas didn’t want me to go too far past my due date.  He did an internal check at the appointment and I was only a fingertip dilated and not very thinned out.  Dr. Manas left the exam room to go call the hospital to see what time I should check in.  He came back in with the bad news that the hospital was full and that I wouldn’t be able to get induced.  He told me to go home and report to the hospital at 6:00 PM on Sunday, April 1st. 

Drew and I went back home and tried to enjoy our last few days before we would become parents.  Admittedly, I was pretty bummed that I wasn’t going to be able to be induced that day.  I had been looking forward to meeting my daughter for so long and now I had to wait even longer.  Before we knew it, it was Sunday and time to head to the hospital.

We checked into the hospital and were immediately taken to my birth room.  I changed into the gown and got into bed.

40w4d

Since we were the only ones on the floor there to have a baby, (There were a couple of other ladies there for monitoring.) I was bombarded with a bunch of nurses.  There were three nurses and the on-call obstetrician that came into my room and they all started doing something.  One started hooking me up to the monitors, one was working on paperwork, and one was starting my IV.  While all of this was going on, the on-call OB was asking me questions.  I was overwhelmed to say the least.  One of the nurses was taking my vitals and my blood pressure was extremely high.  They were a little concerned since I hadn’t had high blood pressure throughout my pregnancy, but they chalked it up to the number of people in my room and that I was a little nervous.  It came down a little the second time they took it, but they were still going to watch it.

Starting my IV was quite the ordeal.  I could tell that the nurse was either nervous or new as soon as she started.  She began by putting the tourniquet on my right arm and searching for a vein in my forearm.  After a few minutes, she found one and injected the Lidocaine.  As soon as that happened, she lost the vein.  She decided to move down to my hand and began searching for a vein there.  She found one to use, and injected the Lidocaine.  After waiting a minute or so, she inserted the needle for my IV and blew my vein!  I have never had a blown vein before, and let me tell you, it hurt!  A LOT!!!  That nurse gave up at that point, and another came and began to start the IV on my left hand.  She managed to get it in place without any trouble.  Unfortunately, now I was stuck with an IV in my left hand.  I’m left handed.  Big bummer!

After some time, my night nurse, Micki, came in to insert the Cervidil.  She did an internal first, and I was dilated to about one centimeter.  She inserted the Cervidil, and I had to remain in bed for two hours.  The countdown started at 7:50 PM.  At 9:50 PM, after being told I could get up, I sprinted to the bathroom as fast as I could!  A pregnant girl’s gotta pee!  I tried to negotiate getting off the monitors and walking around in the halls for a little bit, but I was told that wasn’t allowed and that I could only travel as far as the cords to the monitors would allow.  It wasn’t far!  I paced for a few minutes, then decided it just wasn’t worth it, and got back into bed.  We watched a little TV and I dozed some.  Drew slept, and noisily snored.

At about 2:00 AM, my contractions started to pick up.  There were some that I would have to breathe through, and some that weren’t painful at all.

I decided that I would get an epidural before Dr. Manas came in to break my water and start Pitocin.  Since it was early in the morning, and that’s when all the surgeries get scheduled, I didn’t want to want an epidural badly and have to wait for it for a length of time because the anesthesiologist was in a surgery.  Drew had to put a mask on, and we both got hair caps.

Getting the epidural was painless, however, it was difficult to sit with my back rolled out for such a long time.  It was also starting to get very warm in my room, so I told Drew to fan me with a folder.  He kept forgetting to fan me because he was so interested in watching the anesthesiologist administer the epidural.  I was thankful that Micki was there to help hold me in the proper position.

It didn’t take long before my entire lower half was numb.  Dr. Manas arrived sometime between 6:30 and 7:00 AM.  He broke my water, inserted an internal monitor, and removed the Cervidil.  I felt nothing!  God bless epidurals!  Pitocin was started around 7:30 AM.

Before the Pitocin was started, Micki was in the room with my new day nurse, Melissa, and they were going over everything from Micki’s shift.  Drew and I were chatting with them also.  I felt something fall off the bed and let them know that something had dropped.  Melissa turned around and said, “Oh my god, it’s your leg!!”  She immediately grabbed it and put it back on the bed.  I had no clue!  I felt nothing!!  It was the strangest thing to not feel it at all.  I realized that I was sitting a little close to the right side of the bed, and I wanted to move more towards the center.  As much as I told my brain to tell my legs to move, there was just no moving them!  It was such a weird sensation!

After that excitement, I decided to take a little nap.  It didn’t last long because Melissa came in at 8:30 AM and had me roll over to my left side because Annelise’s heart rate had dropped.  I laid there for a little bit and it came back up.

Around noon, Melissa did another internal check.  Dr. Manas had told me when he broke my water that I would probably only be about two to three centimeters at that time.  I told him that he was crazy, and that I would be much further than that.  I was five to six centimeters when Melissa checked me.  However, someone (Drew?) overheard her on the phone with Dr. Manas and she said that I was seven.  So, I was somewhere between five and seven centimeters.

During the afternoon, people started arriving to keep us company; Drew’s parents, my mom and sister, and Kristen, our birth photographer.

Kristen immediately started snapping away.  I continued to labor.

Labor was pretty easy, thanks to the epidural, but occasionally I would have to push the button to administer more.  My contractions were close together and pretty strong.

Having a decent contraction

Everybody had a great time watching the monitors, especially Annelise’s heartbeat.  Her heartbeat would increase whenever Drew came into the room and spoke.  She was already a daddy’s girl!

Dr. Manas called to see how I was doing

Around 4:00 PM, I was starting to feel my contractions more, and they were making me nauseous.  I let the nurse know and she gave me something in my IV to help with it.  I ended up throwing up though.  I knew that I had to be getting close to the end at that point.

Dr. Manas arrived around 4:45 PM and everybody got set up for me to start pushing.  I had agreed to allow two student nurses and a student EMS technician to be in the room during delivery.  I started pushing around 5:00 PM.  Pushing was hard, and I got so out of breath.  I could feel immense pressure when a contraction started and all I wanted to do was push.  I got four pushes in with each contraction.  As soon as the contraction went away, I would beg Drew for some ice chips.  It was so hot in that room!

I was having trouble getting Annelise under my pubic bone, and after pushing for an hour, Dr. Manas started telling me that I would probably need some help.  I really didn’t want him to use forceps to get her out.  I was getting so mad at myself and tried to use that anger to push her out, but it wasn’t working.  Drew could tell that I was getting exhausted and told me that I wasn’t a failure if Dr. Manas had to use the forceps.  I reluctantly agreed.  Dr. Manas told me that he had to call some more people in the room, a NICU team and a pediatrician, and to keep pushing through my contractions.  He performed an episiotomy.  I must have made myself mad enough, because I was able to push her under my pubic bone with that next push.

A few more pushes later, and Annelise was born at 6:27 PM.  Dr. Manas made a comment as she was coming out that “she was solid and she might be 8 pounds”.  That’s not something that you say to a woman pushing out a baby!

Annelise was immediately placed on my chest and she was so beautiful.  She was crying as Melissa rubbed her with a towel.  Drew cut her umbilical cord.

Melissa put Annelise in a clean towel and she quit crying and laid in my arms.  I was crying and Drew was teary eyed as we stared at her in amazement.  I remember counting her fingers and toes and saying that she looked just like Drew.

After a little bit, Melissa took her over to the warmer to get checked out.  I got stitched and cleaned up during this time.

Annelise weighed in at 7 pounds 10 ounces and was 20 ¾ inches long.  She was brought back over to me and I simply stared at her in amazement.

It was hard to believe that she was actually here after everything that we had been through.






All photos, with the exception of the first two, are compliments of Kristen at Photography by Kristen.