Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

My birthday is next Sunday, February 6th.  I know, I am sooooo lucky to have my birthday be on the same day as the Superbowl.  NOT!!  Anyways, Drew can't keep a secret to save his life.  In fact, our first Christmas together, he gave me my gift three days early because he couldn't wait.  So, I really shouldn't be surprised about this.

After we got done with dinner, Drew sat down on the couch.

"When do you want your birthday present?"  he asked.

"On my birthday."

"No, I can't wait that long!  I want to give it to you now."

"It's not my birthday.  Let's do it on Thursday, since you have the day off."

"No, I really want to give it to you now.  I can't wait that long."

At this point, he commences to beg me to let him give it to me now.  I finally gave in and he scampered off like an excited child at Christmas.

He returned to the living room, and after making me close my eyes and hold out my hands, he put a box in my hand containing this:

A Speedlight!  SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!  He also gave me an off-camera remote cord.

I'm stoked.  Just stoked.  The even better news is that the local camera store is offering a Speedlight class at the end of March.  Guess who's going to sign up tomorrow?  This girl right here!

Music Speaks What The Soul Feels

I was doing some blog hopping the other day and I came across a blog that had a song on it.  I so wish I had saved the blog so I could link to it, but alas, I suck, and didn't.  So, if that person should happen to come acoss my blog, let me know so I can link to you.

Anyways, she stated that this song described how she felt about her infertility.  After listening to it, I couldn't agree more. 

I bawled the first time I heard it.  Bawled!  This is one of the toughest things that I have ever had to go through in my life.  While I don't wish infertility on anybody, I wish that more people understood the struggle that we go through.

Decisions, Decisions

Picking a paint color isn't usually that hard for me.  I get an idea of what color I want, and then just have to pick a shade of that color.  I knew that I wanted something neutral and light for the hallways.  Boy, did I have my work cut out for me.

I think that we're going to go with the swatch that has the arrow pointing to it.  It's called Patience.  How ironic, right?

Guest Room Tour: Part 1

We've completed the "bones" of the guest room, so I thought that I would break out the camera and take another video.  As a side note, I still look pretty hideous, although my hair looks better.  And I really hope to have a better video camera by the time we get done with this project.

Isn't that such an amazing difference so far.  I can't believe how different the room looks.  We've moved the furniture back in and have changed the outlets and covers to white.  All I'm waiting for is the rug that I ordered, and I need to find some artwork for the walls. 

Take 2

This morning was my second IUI.  Drew provided a great sample - 67mil post wash and 92% motility!!  My appointment went way better than last time.  The doctor actually spent longer than two minutes in the room, and I have the good nurse! 

The only bad news, is that my beta is three days before my birthday.  I'm either going to have a really sucky birthday present, or the best one I've ever gotten.  I'm wishing and praying and hoping that it's the best one!

And now. . . we wait.

Hello Old Friend

Drew and I had a monitoring ultrasound this morning at the RE's office.  I met with my good friend, the dildo cam, again.  Good news!  I have 4 good sized follicles, 2 on each side, a 16, a 19, a 20, and a 24mm.  Nurse Michelle gave me the trigger shot in my ass again.  (I don't remember my ass hurting this badly last time.  I can barely walk it's so sore.)  Drew has to drop his sample off at 8:45 tomorrow morning and my appointment is at 10:45. 

Please say some prayers that the IUI works this time.  I'll have my beta right before my birthday and would really love to hear that I'm pregnant for a birthday present.

What Do We Need a Dog For??

Drew has been begging me for a dog since we bought our house at the end of February 2009.  He's always grown up having a dog, and well, I haven't.  I have never had a dog for a pet.  It's not that I don't like dogs.  For the most part, I don't have a problem with them.  Well, except for Max, one of Drew's parents dogs.  He decided that he would french kiss me one morning while I was sleeping.  We haven't been friends since.  But, the other Drew's dogs.  I love his dogs!  They are so well behaved and he has trained them so well.  I know that a lot of that has to do with the owner, and he's obviously worked very hard with them.

When I was doing the IUI cycle in November/December, I made the decision that if I got pregnant, I would get Drew a dog for Christmas.  I would have 9 months to train the dog before we had the baby and that seemed pretty good to me.  But, I didn't wind up pregnant, so no dog.  I haven't closed off the idea all together, but we just aren't getting a dog right now.

I always keep telling Drew that we don't need a dog.  We have two cats and they are plenty enough animals for us.  Drew doesn't agree.  But then, when Leo does his "trick", I know that I'm totally right.  We don't need a dog to play fetch with...

See?  What the heck do we need a dog for?

Spent

We've obviously been doing a lot of remodeling work to the house lately.  In light of all these improvements, I knew that I had to create a way to track our costs better than just throwing all of the receipts in a folder.

Enter Microsoft Excel.  Excel is designed specifically for OCD people, like me, who have to have organization in their lives.  So, I created a document where we can enter all of the cost information associated with our repairs. 



This screen shot was taken at the beginning stages of the project.  Since the basement remodel is fresh in my mind, I started there.  I have a column for the item, when we purchased it, where we purchased it from, how many we purchased, the price of each one, the tax that was charged with each item, and the total cost for that item.  Yeah, I went all out!  I also added a column for notes.  This way I can denote when we rented something or anything else that may be pertinent.  I plan on adding extra sheets for exterior and interior improvements.

Ahhhhh, I love organizations!

Sugar Rush

I am NOT the type of girl that likes Valentine's Day.  I never have, and I probably never will.  Well, until I have kids and I'm forced to make a big deal out of stupid "Hallmark Holidays" like that.  I don't understand why there has to be a day to let the person you love know that you love them.  I let Drew know every day that I love him, and he lets me know every day that he loves me.  I don't understand the girls that go BSC over it.  They have to have flowers, candy, presents, dinner out, the whole works.  Why???  It sure means a heck of a lot more to me when Drew randomly surprises me with something, rather than have society dictate to him when he should surprise me with something.

But, there is one reason and one reason only that I love Valentine's Day.

CONVERSATION HEARTS!!!!

I have eaten two whole bags in a little over a week.  All by myself.  And I don't feel guilty one little bit. 

AYKM: Must Be In The Water

Is it just me, or is, like, EVERYBODY pregnant!!  I feel like every time I open up the Internet, there is a new celebrity pregnancy announcement.  And, if no celebrity has come forth and spilled the beans over their impending arrival that day, then it's an announcement on Facebook.  Just take a look at all of the celebrities that have announced a pregnancy lately:

• Alicia Silverstone
• Kate Hudson
• Pink
• Mariah Carey
• Natalie Portman
• Selma Blair
• Tia Mowry
• Jewel
• Victoria Beckham

And those are just off the top of my head and the people that I recognize.  AYKM!!!!

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am extremely happy for each and every person who gets pregnant.  Well, except for the teenagers who shouldn't be having sex in the first place. 

I'm trying to remain optimistic and hopeful and positive for this coming IUI.  I'm trying not to stress out.  But, God, can I please be the next one to get pregnant?  Please?

Required for Happiness

Have you met Lindsay over at Designer Wife?  I heart her!  She makes me laugh and she is such a sweet, sweet girl.  She recently did a post 'Measuring Happiness'.  I loved her post so much, that I want to do a post here too.

Kant said that we require three things by which to measure happiness: someone to love, something we like to do, and something to look forward to.

Whoa!  This has certainly got me thinking.  We can measure our happiness by three things.  Just three simple things.  Someone to love, something we like to do, and something we look forward to.  Let's delve into this a little bit, shall we?

The first part: Someone to love.  Yep, I've got that one completely covered.

Drew is, quite literally, my other half.  He absolutely completes me.  He can make me laugh through the tears and promise that things will always get better when they're hard.  And we've had some hard times.  We have had so many joyous times also.  There is nobody that I would rather travel this journey with than him.

The second part: Something we like to do.

• Photography - I have such a passion for photography, and this year, I am going to work so hard on improving my photography and possibly turning it into a business for myself.  This is something that I really want to pursue with full force.  I am going to take classes, and do research, and shove my camera in everybody's face to try and get some practice.
• Blog - I really do enjoy blogging about my life and the things that happen.  I'll frequently look back and go, "Oh yeah!  I forgot that happened."  I am kind of a sucky blogger at times though.  Since this is something that I am professing that I like to do, I need to blog more frequently.
• Being surrounded by people - I like spending my time with people that I care about.  I have sort of turned into quite the hermit crab since my unfortunate dismissal from my place of employment.  But, I want to start venturing out and making new friends.  See part three on how I plan on achieving this.

The third part: Something to look forward to.

• Here's hoping I get pregnant very, very soon so that I can look forward to the healthy birth of our child.  That would be the best thing to look forward to.
• I'm going to work on building my faith.  I want to go back to attending church regularly.  I want to join a Bible study group.  I'm looking forward to growing closer to God.  I'm looking forward to making new friends who are building their relationships with God also.
• Vacations and road trips.  I love being able to get out of town for awhile.  Even if it's just for one night, I always feel so refreshed afterwards.  It's difficult for us to make any sort of far-in-advanced vacation plans due to my endometriosis and fertility treatments, but I would love if we could make more of an effort to make some plans, even if it's just for one night or for a day trip.

Seems easy enough, right.  Three simple things that are required to measure our happiness.  Are you happy?

To Blog or Not To Blog

You have no idea the internal struggle that has been going on in my head for the past few days.  No idea!  Let's start at the beginning.  Because that's a very good place to start.

My unmedicated cycle came to an end (surprise, surprise) on Saturday with the start of my period.  Drew asked me to chart for the cycle, and I obliged, so I knew that good ol' Aunt Flo would be making her appearance on Saturday.  When I woke up in the morning and saw my temperature, I showered, threw on some comfy clothes, grabbed the heating pad, and parked my booty on the couch.  And there I stayed.  Heating pad in place.  Just waiting.  And waiting.  And waiting.  And waiting.

Well, I waited all day.  AF arrived in the afternoon, and I waited.  But nothing came.  No pain.  None whatsoever.  Bedtime came, so I packed up my little sicky camp and went to bed, with the heating pad still in place.

I slept pretty well all night, and when Sunday morning afternoon arrived, I woke up curious.  No pain.  None whatsoever.  I was baffled.  What the heck was going on?  I mean, I wasn't going to complain that I wasn't in pain, but it just didn't make sense.  I figured it wouldn't be long, so I parked my booty back on the couch and put the heating pad right where it belonged. 

Evening came and nothing.  Night came and nothing. 

Today is day 3 and I have been pain free this cycle.  It's a miracle.  An unbelievably miracle.  I don't know if God decided to spare me a little bit after the hell that I went through last month, but I'll take it.

So, back to my struggle.  I've started another cycle on Saturday, but I keep having debates about whether or not I want to blog about it.  On one hand, I want to be able to remember this time in my life.  That way when our future child acts like a royal pain, I can prove to them how much we fought and longed for them to join us.  On the other hand, ya'll, it broke my heart to have to put into writing that I wasn't pregnant after my first IUI. 

I probably will continue to blog about what is going on with my treatments, because, first and foremost, this is my blog for me.  You are more than welcome to come with me on this journey, in fact, the more the merrier.  Let's beat this crappy thing called infertility!

The Next Big Project

Up until now, we've always tackled small projects. We've painted. We've laid new flooring in the dining room, kitchen, and entryway. We've decorated a majority of our rooms. We started building a deck. We redid the sidewalk. But now. . . we're tackling our biggest project yet. We're remodeling our basement.

Our basement consists of the laundry room, a bedroom, a full bathroom, the electrical room/storage room, and a large rec room. We have an exposed walk-out basement, so there is also a set of doors.

I took a video so that you can see the "before" status of the basement. I honestly should have fixed my hair a little bit before I took it because I look hideous. So, don't mind me. And I shot the video after we had already started, so it's a disaster. But, I wanted everyone to see what we were starting with.

I seriously can't wait until we get all done. I'm sorry that the video is kinda out of focus at times. The camera doesn't take the best videos. Wish us luck! I'll post updates as we make progress.

Sidewalk Renovation

I seriously can't believe that I haven't posted this project yet. And we completed it back in October. I just never went outside and took pictures of the completed project until the other day. We got back from vacation and it got cold and then snowed and then whine, whine, whine. I sucked it up the other day and went out to take some pictures because I couldn't wait anymore to show off this project.

Our sidewalk was a disaster. And disaster is a generous term. It was a broken ankle waiting to happen. See for yourself.
Yes, seriously, that's our sidewalk. Here's a close up of the gruesome details.

Pretty bad, huh? Well, back in August, I had had enough and we decided to start looking into replacing it before winter came. We got a couple of quotes, but weren't happy with the numbers and Drew knew that he could do just as good of a job for significantly cheaper.

So, Drew went and rented a jackhammer and became the demolition.

At that point, we were committed. After Drew cleaned out all of the old cement, it sat that way for a month. A whole month before Drew ordered the new pavers. Drew and his dad got some egglime (or something like that) at the quarry and laid that first. They rented a ground pounder to be sure that it was packed down really well. Then, it came time for the pavers to be laid.

And that's when we went on vacation. Haha!!! Drew and I went on vacation and his dad, with some help from my cousin who was house sitting, laid the entire sidewalk. We sure know how to plan a project, don't we? I asked my cousin if he learned something or if he had already done something like that, and he said, "Yeah, I learned how to go on vacation when you're doing a project!" Hahaha!!!

But, enough chit chat. I'm sure you want to see pictures of the completed sidewalk, don't you?

Isn't it beautiful? Such an improvement over the old sidewalk! Here is a close-up of the herringbone pattern that we used.

Please don't mind all of the dirt around the sidewalk. We obviously haven't had a chance to landscape and reseed the area yet. Hopefully, by May or June it'll look gorgeous!

So, what do you think? I absolutely LOVE the way that it turned out. And it's so much easier to shovel the snow off.

P.S. If anybody lets me know that they're interested in a cost breakdown of supplies, I can dig that information up and do a post about it.

101 in 1001 Update

Wow, I haven't updated in a long, long time. And I really need to get my butt in gear if I want to make some progress on this daunting list of mine. If I calculated correctly, I only have until September 28 of this year to accomplish these remaining items. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!

Again, items that have been completed are in red.

1. Take Drew to Arizona
2. Read the Bible
3. Visit the Daughtry’s in North Carolina
4. Visit the Landgren’s in Colorado
5. Make dinner every night for a week
6. Go to church at least one Sunday a month
7. Take a dance class
8. Move out of our apartment
9. Buy a house
10. Start our family
11. Pay off all credit cards (2/4)
12. Go to a Cubs game with Drew
13. Watch at least 5 Cubs games each season with Drew (and not complain about it) 10/15
14. Learn sign language
15. Learn to play the piano
16. Go on a spontaneous overnight trip
17. Go snowboarding or skiing
18. Don’t drink pop for an entire week
19. Go to Florida
20. Read 5 books that have turned into movies (4/5)(Twilight, My Sister's Keeper, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Other Boleyn Girl)
21. Watch the movies too (4/5)
22. Do a drastically different hairstyle
23. Get braces
24. Read the Twilight series (4/4)
25. Organize the closets
26. Host Christmas Eve for my side of the family
27. Go to bed before 10PM at least 60 times (60/60)
28. Go on a second honeymoon
29. Organize address book
30. Find 4 new recipes to cook for dinner (2/4)
31. Start a family tradition with Drew and me
32. Find a family doctor
33. Have 8 girls’ night (6/8)
34. Take a yoga class
35. Get a massage
36. Go to Starlight Theatre three times (0/3)
37. Clean out Drew’s clothes
38. Pick and print out wedding pictures for frame
39. Go to the movie theatre with Drew
40. Try 5 new restaurants (3/5)(Granite City, Land's End Tavern, Lucerne's)
41. Stay off the computer after work for one week
42. Get a job in my field
43. Take a cooking class
44. Put my feet in the Atlantic Ocean
45. Put my feet in the Pacific Ocean
46. Go golfing
47. Make a new friend
48. Teach someone something
49. Play hookie with Drew one day
50. Play a video game with Drew
51. Pick apples from the apple orchard
52. Plan a big surprise for Drew
53. Make dinner for my family
54. Make dinner for Drew’s family
55. Spend a day with my brother
56. Let Drew teach me something new
57. Learn one new word a week and blog about it (39/143) - Due to requests, I have stopped blogging about this.
58. Put at least $20 into my savings account every two weeks (31/71)
59. Eat dinner at the Signature Room again
60. Volunteer anywhere
61. Be a Chicago “tourist” – Go to the Museum of Science and Industry
62. Be a Chicago “tourist” – Go to the Shedd Aquarium
63. Be a Chicago “tourist” – Go to the Field Museum
64. Be a Chicago “tourist” – Go to the Hancock Observatory
65. Be a Chicago “tourist” – Go to Adler Planetarium
66. Go to Navy Pier
67. Stay at a Bed and Breakfast
68. Go to Brookfield Zoo
69. Go on a picnic
70. Go camping
71. Read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” when I become pregnant
72. Take a photography class
73. Cross stitch a picture
74. Set up a 401k
75. Get a physical once a year (2/3)
76. Pay off bills as soon as they come in rather than waiting until they’re due
77. Host Thanksgiving
78. Throw a surprise party for someone
79. Send out birthday cards every month for a year (0/12)
80. Completely clean bathrooms every week for a month (0/4)
81. Recycle
82. Completely clean the tables off every night for a month (0/30)
83. Vacuum and dust every week for a month (0/4)
84. Don’t swear for a week
85. Go skydiving
86. Become known for making or doing something
87. Take a ballroom dancing class
88. Take an acting class
89. Research getting an MBA
90. Drink only water for a week
91. Splurge on a spa day for me
92. Splurge on a spa day for me and a friend
93. Encourage at least one other person to make a list like this one
94. Purchase a china cabinet
95. Purchase 5 new pieces of clothing and DON’T feel guilty about it (5/5)
96. Host a game night with our friends
97. Clean and organize garage
98. Do something I don’t want to that will make someone else happy
99. Preserve my wedding gown
100. Donate $5 to a charity for any uncompleted items on this list
101. Make a new list at the end of 1001 days and include any items I didn’t complete on this list