Sunday, March 22, 2009

It's Not Easier

Five years ago today my father died. I honestly have no idea what to say here. I typed that first sentence and then just stared at the screen. When he died, everybody just kept saying that it would get easier. Liars!!! It hasn't gotten easier.

It's not easier because he hasn't gotten to meet Drew. I've told Drew though that I think my dad sent him to me. I think that my dad knew that I needed someone to take care of me that possessed some of the qualities that he did. I think that my dad sent Drew to me to be my angel here on Earth. My dad and Drew would have been inseparable. They would have gone hunting and fishing. They would have fixed things together.

It's not easier because he didn't get to see me graduate. He didn't get to walk me down the aisle. Planning the wedding was so hard because that's the one spot that is reserved for him, and him alone. I think that my brother was honored to be able to fill his shoes.

I miss my dad more than words can possibly express.

Losing my father has probably taught me the greatest lesson that life will ever teach me. Don't take anything or anyone for granted. Choose your last words wisely. You never know when the words that you speak or the actions that you take could be the last ones that someone will know. Tell those that you love what they mean to you. Don't let them forget!

1 comment:

Becky said...

I am so sorry Tania, I can't believe it has been so long. I'm sure your Dad is looking out for you from above...