Cuttin' Down a Christmas Tree

Drew and I went with our friends, Josh and Amanda, to cut down our Christmas tree today. I haven't had a real Christmas tree in years. I can't tell you how excited I am to have a real tree in my home. It smells amazing! We went to Williams Tree Farm to pick out our tree. To say there had a lot of trees is an understatement.
Lots of trees.

Lots and lots of trees.

Josh and Amanda were looking for a tall, skinnier one. I think they found a pretty good one. Here's the men chopping it down.

Amanda and I supervised. Can you see our shadows? Haha!

Then, Drew and I found our tree. I had originally "marked" one that I like, but then Josh pointed out this one and it's perfect!

They also have some animals at the Farm. Like a reindeer!!

You can't not feed the camel, right!

Now, I'm just waiting for the branches on the tree to fall back down before I start decorating it. I post a picture of our decorated tree soon. After I vacuum up the gabillion pine needles that are already on my carpet. Ha! It's a small price to pay to have a real tree again.

I Will Be A Wonderful Mother

I participate in a couple of online message boards. I have become friends with women on there that I have never even met. As I was lurking around one of the boards the other day, somebody had posted a poem that instantly brought tears to my eyes. There are so many lines in this poem that say the words that my heart feels.

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that I have been given this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that I am led to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

Thanksgiving 2010

Drew and I hosted Thanksgiving this year since we stayed home and didn't go to Georgia. We had my family and Drew's parents over. I documented the day with a few pictures.

I can't tell you how much I absolutely hate taking pictures in my living room. My house is like a dungeon and, since I don't have an external flash yet, it usually takes me about 5 minutes playing around with my settings before I finally get an exposure I like. By that time, my mom was bored!
Here's one of the tables. I purposefully didn't do any centerpieces because I thought we were going to put food on the table. We decided to use all of our counterspace instead. Oh well!

Close up of one of the settings.

Drew decided that he wanted to fry the turkey since he heard rave reviews about it. I've had fried turkey before so I knew what to expect. Drew spent a lot of time looking up marinade recipes so he could inject the turkey. I don't know about you, but they look cold to me!

Fried bird

I think it was good frying it, but I did not care for the seasoning. It was a little too spicy for my tastes and there was something about the taste of it that wasn't pleasant for me. Everybody else loved it though. I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!

Inseminate Me Please

I seriously pranced around my house this morning singing, "I'm getting knocked up today, I'm getting knocked up today".

We arrived at the doctor's office when we were supposed to. Unfortunately, they must have been running behind because it was an hour before I had the IUI. Drew was impressed.

I'll run through the process in case somebody is reading this that would like to know.

Drew had to "make love to a cup" (the doctor's words, not ours) and have it there by 7:15 this morning. I had to be there at 8:45 for the IUI. During that time, the nurse does the wash process, which is basically separating the swimmers from the non-swimmers. The doctor said that Drew had excellent numbers.

The nurse called me back to the room and had me get undressed. She asked me if I would be ok with the male student doctor being in there. At this point, so many people have seen my lady bits, what's. one. more! I really do think that it made it a little more awkward though. The doctor came in with the nurse and the student (And, can I just add here, that there were an awful lot of people in a room that was pretty small.) The nurse and doctor got me in position. The doctor was trying to make small talk with Drew and the nurse was all business like trying to get him to get the show on the road. I was a little disturbed by that. I would like our doctor to take more than 2 seconds with us, thank you very much. The doctor inserted the speculum, then had the nurse push on my stomach while he inserted the catheter. That was a little uncomfortable. It was over quickly and then they propped my feet up and had me lay there for 20 minutes.

I go back in a week for a blood draw to check my hormone levels and then a week after that for a pregnancy test. Drew and I won't be making any kind of announcement until we have an ultrasound and feel comfortable with things.

What do you think? Do you think I'm pregnant? I've put a little poll over on the side, just for fun.

I Could Get Used To This

Another GREAT doctor's appointment today!!! I could definitely get used to this!

My appointment was at 7:15 this morning. Drew and I have not seen that hour of day in a long, long time. Needless to say, we were a little on edge.

We got there, and I was taken back for an ultrasound. I really enjoyed it because the nurse actually told me what she was seeing. It was nice to have her say something besides, "You'll have to wait for the doctor".

After the ultrasound, Drew and I were taken to another room. We waited for a little bit, and then another nurse came in and told me that I have four good looking follicles! They measure at 15, 20, 21, and 24mm. Awesome!!

The nurse gave me the trigger shot (in my ass!) and sent us on our way. We go back tomorrow for the IUI.

I am so excited. I am praying so hard that this is it and that I'll be pregnant soon.

All Life's A Gamble

Last night, Drew and I made the 2 hour drive to go to Jumer's Casino & Hotel in Rock Island. Our friend Josh's birthday was last weekend, and he decided that he wanted to go to the casino. He planned the trip for Drew's days off, so we went along too.

Now, I've stayed in a lot of hotel rooms in my day. We've traveled a bunch; get your mind out of the gutter! This was one cool hotel room. After dinner, we came back upstairs and they had done a turn down service for us. I love turn down service!
Isn't that wall fun? It was very subtle in person, I'm actually quite surprised that it's as pronounced as it is in the picture. Here's opposite the bed.

This is the door to the bathroom. It slides to the right to open.

Very little privacy!

Now, I'm not usually a fan of an open shower like that. I love having the curtain closed and having all the steam and warmth in there with me. So, I was a little hesitant about it and figured that I would just hate it. Quite the opposite actually. I loved it!!! The entire room got very steamy and warm, especially since I kept that big door closed.

All in all, I loved the room, but only if I was going to be sharing with somebody like Drew. Anybody else, and I probably would have felt a little uncomfortable with the lack of privacy.

How did we do gambling, you ask? Well, I had a hot streak last night. I've only played Blackjack, our game of choice at a casino, a few times. I know the rules, and I know the general logic behind it. We usually sit down at a low minimum bet table, such as $5. I usually only bet $5, maybe $10 if I'm feeling frisky, but that's it. Um, let's just say that I was doing so well that I think that at one point I was betting $35 and $40 a hand. We didn't walk away big winners, but we aren't big losers either, so that equals a great time in my book.

Foreshadowing

I am on day 2 of Clomid. So far so good. I do notice that I have grown incredibly tired throughout this afternoon and evening. I'm not sure if it has to do with the medicine, or if it's related to the fact that I woke up at 8AM this morning when I usually don't get up until 11AM. I had a photo shoot that I did for some friends. I did come home and take a 2 hour nap, but I still feel tired.

Is this a sign of things to come?

Let's Get This Show on the Road

We are finally able to make some progress with the fertility treatments. I started a new cycle yesterday and immediately called the RE.

I am starting out by taking Estradiol today and tomorrow. According to the nurse, this will help prolong my cycle hormonally. I'm assuming that this is due to the days that my cycle is falling on. I start Clomid on Saturday. The doctor has decided to start me out at 100mg. I was actually a little shocked when I found out that I would not be starting at the normal 50mg like most people. The nurse said that the doctor wants to start me at the higher dosage because of the endo and because I've never been pregnant before. I will take Clomid for 5 days. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Monday, November 22. If everything looks ok, and I'm praying that it does, the office will do a trigger shot so that I will ovulate. My IUI is tentatively scheduled for Tuesday, November 23.

I am so anxious. I am praying so hard that this is it, that this is the cycle that I get pregnant.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like....

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Ok, well, maybe not quite yet, but it is only 47 days away. Can you believe it? Me neither.

That means that it is time to start thinking about Christmas cards. Drew and I have yet to send out Christmas cards as a couple, but this year, we're gonna do it! I have always loved to receive photo cards from friends and family, so it's only obvious that we should send out photo cards. And we will definitely be ordering them from Shutterfly.

Have you seen their designs this year? They are so cute! I really wish we had some kids to adorn our Christmas card this year because there are so many cute options. Take this one below.
I love me some monograms. And I think it's so neat that there are so many photo spots to put individual photos. Especially if you have some kiddos.

Doesn't this card have the cutest layout ever?!?!

If we had kids, that would definitely be the card that I picked.

You want to go check out their designs now, don't you? Well you can browse their Christmas photo cards by going here.

Maybe you're the type of person that sends actual cards that you can write it. Well, Shutterfly has those too. Check out their collection of Christmas cards here.

And since we're nearing the end of 2010, it's time to think about getting a 2011 calendar. Well, guess what? Shutterfly has those too. Look at the calendars here.

Well, what are you waiting for? Go create your Christmas card!!