Friday, June 18, 2010

Crushed

I had an appointment with my OB/GYN today. I wanted to discuss with her my charts and why she thinks I'm not pregnant yet.

I went in totally prepared. I had lots of questions to ask and I had printed my charts out. And my charts look fabulous, by the way.

Then, she comes in. First, she breaks out the good news.

"Well, from looking at your chart, you're very obviously ovulating."

Thanks Doc! Tell me something I don't know. "So, why do you think is going wrong?"

Then, it happened. She said words that should never, ever be uttered to a woman. She told me that I have a very, very little chance of getting pregnant on my own and that I'll probably have to resort to in-vitro treatments. As in totally skip an IUI.

So, that's it folks. My hopes and dreams have been crushed. I will probably not conceive a child naturally. I have already made an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) for August 5th. Please say a prayer for us.

And... I'm really sorry about this, and I may change my mind, but the way that I feel right now is that if Drew and I do have to pursue in-vitro treatments, I'm probably not going to talk about it. We've already been through so much with the endo and infertility, I just can't take anymore. Plus, doing treatments like this open the door for judgments. I do not want to be judged for the choices that Drew and I make. Like I said, I may change my mind, but as I stand right now, this will be a journey that Drew and I take with only our very immediate family members

4 comments:

Adori Graphics said...

I found your blog via mine and I wanted you to know that I'll be praying for you. We were in a similar position a few years ago and had to make the IVF/no IVF decision. It was awful...still we made our decision and stuck with it. I know what you mean about wanting to make that journey private - I know we got some interesting responses when we were discussing it with family.
(((hugs)))

Tania said...

Thank you so much! I love your blog, by the way.

Busted Kate said...

I'm sorry about the news, that is always very difficult to hear. If you ever need to talk, I'm always around :-) We also have another blog called the TTC Happy Hour. Many women write there because they don't feel comfortable writing about in on their own blog.

Tania said...

I have smiled through the tears as I've read through your blog. Thank you for providing some laughter during such a sucky time!