Thursday, September 26, 2013

Ready To Go

A few weeks ago, I called my RE's office because I had a couple of questions about the blood work that I needed to have done.  I found out that my doctor was leaving and going to teach at a college and that a new doctor was taking over the practice.  This new doctor was already seeing patients.  I never would have known this had it not been for my call!  (Would anybody else have been a little irritated about that?)  During my conversation with the nurse, I found out that he (sometimes) has a different protocol for the way he does things.  This worried me some because I had already set up a plan of action with my old RE, and I was concerned that there would be things added or not needed.  So, I scheduled a consultation with this new doctor so that we could meet him and go over the course of action for my treatment.

Drew and I went and met with Dr. D a few weeks ago.  He's such a nice guy.  He seems very intelligent, down to earth, and he's been through IVF himself.  Most importantly, he didn't want to screw around with what worked last time for us to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.  Great news!

Dr. D did inform me that I would have to update my blood work and that it was mandated by the government for the lab that we use.  Ok, fine, even though I was about 99.9% positive that I didn't have any STDs, I went and got the blood work done.  I don't have any STDs, but I did find out that I'm anemic.  Lovely.  A week after that, I had an ultrasound done to check my uterus and ovaries.  Ute looked good, but ovaries had some cysts.  He said that they looked exactly like endometriomas, which he would expect because of my endometriosis.  He said that since he was fairly confident that was what they would, he wouldn't have any problem moving forward with a FET whenever we were ready.  He said that if I was concerned about the cysts, that he could do some testing and surgery to remove them.  I basically said, "No thanks!" and we moved on.

So, everything is all set to go for a Frozen Embryo Transfer whenever we decide to go ahead with it.  Drew and I are still trying to discuss when the best time would be.  We keep tossing around different dates and scenarios and trying to pick the best one.

I'm feeling very lonely this time around.  I feel like I had more of a support system the last time we cycled.  I know that a lot of it has to do with the fact that we aren't even really telling people that we're cycling again, but even the people that do know seem a little distant.

I'm terrified going into this.  I'm so worried about something going wrong.  We only have two snowbabies and if something goes wrong, we're out of luck.  Drew and I have already decided that we probably won't ever do a fresh IVF cycle again.  There is so much riding on the thaw and transfer.  I'm scared of the embryo not surviving the thaw, or not implanting.  I'm scared of miscarrying again.  It's been a long time since my body did the pregnancy thing.  What if it screws it up again?  I know that I really need to calm down and relax, but that is so hard to do.

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