Friday, April 8, 2011

Slight Delay

My BFF (my period) decided to make an appearance on Tuesday.  I called my RE's office to let the nurse know.  She told me that she didn't have the results of my biopsy yet, but that we could go ahead and get started on the meds for IVF if we wanted to.

Drew and I talked about it, and we decided that we're going to wait and start next month.  We have a wedding to attend next weekend, and I have a baby shower the next day, and I don't know how the meds are going to make me feel.  So now, I just have to hope and wish and pray that the days fall nicely so that I don't miss my sister's Prom and their graduation.

I did get the results of my biopsy today, and they are positive, which is good, that's what we wanted.

I'm feeling a little nervous about this.  I feel like I'm putting all of my eggs in one basket.  I have looked forward to doing IVF ever since my OB/GYN told me that I would need IVF in order to get pregnant.  So why is it that now that it's almost here, I'm terrified?

I'm scared of it not working.  I'm scared that I will have gone this far and take a whole bunch of medicine and something will go wrong in the process and we won't even get to the point where we can transfer an embryo.  I'm terrified that we will be able to transfer an embryo and that it won't stick, or that I'll miscarry.  I just don't know if my heart can take that.

What I do know though, is that I wouldn't be ok with not trying.  As scared as I am of everything to come, I'm more scared of what would happen if we didn't try.  I think that I'm just scared of the unknown right now, and how much unknown there is in this.

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